Be True To Your Best Self

Time Wasted You Never Get Back
Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
May 22 and May 26th, 2014
Copyright May 2014
Time Wasted you never get back to invest in yourself and your future. If you don’t live each moment wisely now, you will only have a bunch of lackluster memories and regrets.
Be your best friend and only associate with positive people who are not rude, who do not yell and wouldn’t think of hurting you if their life depended on it. Your goal is to find people who treat you as good as you treat them-which should be with dignity and respect.
Be a giver and do small things for no reason other than you are able to. Not only will it give you countless memories and smiles when you recall all the times that you made a difference in someone’s life, but it will enrich your life too.
Don’t mope about family members who aren’t supportive.
Count your blessings and the friends in your life now as petals of a rose that blooms in the vase of your heart.
When you add enough of those people together, you have a “Bouquet of People” who enrich your life and who you can always count on to care about you. They are your FAMILY. The TRIED and TRUE of HEART, the Kind & Loving-
Those people are who make you shine like an Aurora Borealis light in the night sky.
If a person is there for you in the worst of times, they will be there for you to celebrate the best of times! Remember that.
People change. When people change for the worst, you do the same and change too by not including them in your life!
You owe it to yourself to only let the best in your world.
Making wise choices are a privilege we should use more often.
If someone is helping you, loving; keep them around for a while.
If life was a big brick of Cheddar the bad people are like mold on cheese. Watch out because that “mold” could spread on you and ruin the whole piece!
(People love that one when I tell them! I love picturesque analogies. You remember them!)
Sometimes blood relatives suck blood instead of offering health promoting benefits. If you are sick when you see someone, don’t see them. If the person upsets you uncontrollably-don’t see them. If you have ulcers and cannot afford the ulcer medicine, like I once had-remove the source of the ulcer! I did and I was related to 3 of them! I tell you not because I am flaunting this fact, but because I want to “liberate you” to know it is perfectly fine to not associate with someone-family or not.
When I looked up the meaning of “family” in the Webster Dictionary, I was astonished to see so many variations of the word. For purposes here, I like this basic definition:
“A people or group of people united by certain convictions.”
Although this one fits the general term we think of as a family unit:
“The basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children.”
If you find that you are always agitated, upset emotionally when you are around someone-simply remove them. It is OK. No horrible repercussions will happen from doing do, other than you exercising your right to be an adult.
By the same token, associate more with those who value what you value, care about what you care about and don’t have a selfish mentality to only focus on them.
Almost three pages later and 600 words later, I am searching for the words that will sum up this article.
Everything has a chain reaction. Make every action positive in your life, including the people you associate with and the activities you do, as well as the words you say. By making a conscious effort to do the things outlined here, as well as employing positive self-talk and not allowing negative, self-talk or words to materialize, you will be editing your life.
I was married to a rocket scientist for 15 years and I think I am still part “engineer”. Engineers are modest people who always think of what they do in terms of “one of the group”, never taking credit for anything really.
I remember when I graduated at the top of my class at Chapman University in their Master’s Certification program in 1997. I was selected by my peers to run a class at The Summit Meeting 1997 that year. People paid $250 each to hear me speak and teach about what epilepsy was and wasn’t, how you acquire it and about the many falsehoods. I was the CEO & Founder of The Epilepsy Connection at the time. I created a PowerPoint Presentation with animations and had an overhead with transparencies that illustrated the many psychological aspects a person deals with when they have the invisible disorder.
In order to say the main points and to create the thing, I remember Mark-my ex-husband the rocket scientist, telling me-
“Do it this way instead: Cross off everything that is false and you will be left with the truth.”
I was doing it the opposite way but after he said that, I couldn’t believe how easy it was to arrive at the main points I wanted people to walk out of there with.
I say this because; you want to represent the truth and purity of intention with no hypocrisy or manipulative people around you. When you think you have found anything other than the truth and the best it can offer, edit it, so you will always be left with the truth, and what represents you the best.
As for the presentation I did for the people at Chapman U. I told them that a “friend of mine” had the disorder and I know I could help others who had it.
At the end of the presentation, I told them “The friend was me.”
People had tears in their eyes, and many did a standing ovation, and came and looked at me saying, “I never would have known!”
I looked back and said, “I know. People with epilepsy can do anything anyone else can and anyone at any age can acquire it by a fever, convulsions or a coma or a blow on the head. I had all of those things and nearly died before my second birthday. I have nearly died 4 times in my life and only want the best of the world to come my way and give the best back as long as I live.







What do you do when your plans fall through? Something could happen that is better than what you originally planned.

You adapt and make the most out of the situation in every way you can.
Like what I am doing tonight.

The original plans of making my own version of El Pollo Loco’s Pollo Bowl with Mexican Rice, cooked pinto beans, chunky salsa and diced up rotisserie chicken went up in flames on Valentine’s Day evening. So being that I am the master of adapting to fallen plans, I decided to meet a friend at El Pollo Loco and eliminate the whole cooking, chopping & cleaning thing.

I had a Chicken Guacamole Bacon stuffed quasadilla, and was shocked by the size of the thing!


My friend arrived and we tried their new Chicken Tortilla soup, which had big pieces of chicken and veggies in it and was one of the closest to what I would make. You get chunks of veggies & chicken in every bite, with minimal broth.

Across from me was a nice family: Yolanda, Jesus and Myra.
When I wished them a happy Valentine’s day, she looked at me and my bandaged hand and said I taught piano, which I did and will when my hand heals. She remembered me and my mom and dad eight years before!

I couldn’t believe how she remembered the conversation, when she told me, I remembered. Myra was only 8 years old and now she was a beautiful 16-year-old young lady, far from the little girl I remembered seeing.

She asked me how I was doing, and then how mom and dad were doing. I had to tell her that dad died a year ago of congestive heart failure and mom has Alzheimer’s disease and is being taken care of by a staff of people now.

Yolanda’s father also passed away last year and she knew the meaning of seeing things differently once they’re gone.

I felt happy she remembered me so vividly and it made me feel as though I was special enough to not be forgotten.

We hugged eachother and felt a special bond as her eyes twinkled and mine did too…and exchanged numbers so we could get together some time.

Life is funny isn’t it-the people we meet, the unique situations and miraculous moments and special times that put a smile on your face and a glimmer in your eyes and warmth in your heart.

To think I could have made such an impression on Yolanda that she would remember so much by hearing me speak…makes me realize how we all make impressions on people during the coarse of our lives.

Two nights before I sat next to a good friend of mine at In N Out Burger who was sitting with her two beautiful daughters and husband.

Seeing her was like seeing a star shine in a dark black sky, since an hour before I was at The Huntington Beach Hospital having my hand wrapped in gauze and bandages by a beauiful, blonde, blue-eyed female doctor, so my hand would hurt less and heal more quickly.

I hope you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day, and if you worked, I hope you can enjoy time with someone you care about soon.

I didn’t have romance and there weren’t hot bodies touching under starlit skies, but I enjoyed fun times with a friend, watching “Everybody Loves Raymond” comedies and had a good laugh-which by the way, is an elixer of youth.
Romance, to me, involves a connection of minds, intellect, spirituality, common interests and a kind of chemistry that is unspoken.

I got a pretty bouquet of flowers to look at in the morning by a gentleman friend and a red bud rose with baby’s breath from another. I love flowers, hearts, and antique laces, cameos and pearls and nice fragrances. Some of the girly things that bring me that magic word JOY.


What brings you JOY?

I wish the 712 followers of Totally Inspired Mind: Where Positive Minds Congregate health of mind and body and peace of mind.

And I also wish you all to have jobs that more than pay the bills and leave you with some to save and some to give away to those who need it or special causes you believe in.

Paulette Le Pore Motzko

February 15th, 2014
8:15 p.m.

Paulette L. Motzko

The Importance of Reading & Writing- Books Enlighten, Empower & Changes Your Life. Concentration Improves with Solitude. Ideas are Born.

Learning new things is something I have loved since very young and my mother taught me to read when I was four years old. I learned how to sound out words and understood prefixes and suffixes at an early age so it was like a game to figure out the meaning of big words.

If I wasn’t playing a song on the piano, I had my happy contented head buried in a good book or cook book.


This love of language then progressed into writing the lyrics to songs, of which I have 50 with copyrights in the Library of Congress, and would love the world to hear them one day. It has always been one of my dreams to have them recorded in a nice studio with instruments and arranged. I met someone recently who is a recording engineer, who I hope to make that a reality.

Back to Ernest Dimnet’s thought provoking poignant quote about concentration.

“Certainly we cannot help thinking any more than we can help breathing, but, just as we can choose to breathe pure air in a pine wood on a high hill, we can place our mind where the images it will work upon will be of a higher nature.” -by Ernest Dimnet from “The Art of Thinking”

I got lucky and opened up three books that said on their spine “The World’s Greatest Literature” that were in my friend’s house sitting lonely on the shelf. A good book always longs for someone to hold it and caress its pages and love it, remember it and hopefully, if it is a really great book pass it down to others and share its glory, knowledge, lore and the many benefits within its covers. I guess a great book has a lot in common with me! Except I want my gifts and talents to be shared with the right people who can appreciate them!

When I spotted Ernest Dimnet’s “The Art of Thinking” Copyright 1928 by Simon & Schuster and read a few of the paragraphs-(I learned how to speed read but only use it to know if I want to read something in depth)-and I knew it was something special- and it was.


I was also surprised in the three volumes how many authors I had never heard of, considering I was in Honors English and took every class Garden Grove High School taught and loved each one of them.

Writing  and doing the exercises my great teachers had me do was as though I was a sculptor carving marble or alabaster until I chiseled the words to my liking. Reading great literature is like a journey into some of the greatest minds that ever lived. Learning about the lives of the writers and what kind of people they were and where they lived helped me understand why they wrote what they did as well.

The more you read the more it exposes you to new ideas, new cultures, new ways of thinking and in general new horizons. Every book alters the course of your life because you will never be the same after you read it. After all, any time a person gains new knowledge they are in a sense “enlightened”. Remember Helen Keller when Anne Sullivan fingerspelled the word W-A-T-E-R in her hand? At that moment she realized that everything in the world had a name and her dark world void of sound or images was lit with the knowledge of the world around her.

Sometime go to your public library or look on and read just one of the books Helen Keller wrote. You will be awed and amazed at how well she wrote and what a literal genius she became, especually since she was totally blind and deaf!

Books you think are boring now for required reading in school or college you’ll find years later a deeper appreciation of having read it will emerge; that is what I discovered.

In regards to solitude, Ernest Dimnet made me realize that the greatest minds of all time craved solitude so they could think and work out problems and CREATE. Now I don’t feel so bad and like a “loner” when I take that special time. It is needed if you problem solve, work on what I call “cerebral stuff” above-the-neck-stuff a lot.

There are happy mediums for everything in life and balance in life and the types of activities you incorporate are key to a happy, healthy life too. For instance, if your job entails computer work, which is largely solitary and requires concentration and is sedentary, that means that you have to set LIMITS. No more than an hour at a time with 15 minute breaks. If you do more you begin to turn into what I call a “cyborg” at Starbucks! I see people all the time almost hooked to the computers with their eyes glazed over, not seeing anything or anyone around them. It scares me when I see that. People like that are desensitized to everything around them, to where they don’t see or hear anything-since an iPod is usually playing making it impossible to hear what is going on around them.

Now mind you I go to lots of places and do work and have music playing on my iPod, but I am never so engrossed I cannot talk to a human being and pay attention to my surroundings. Remember this:

People first

Things Second

Computers are Things

Before Computers There Were People

Unplug yourself and phones for at least an hour or more a day.

You will feel your blood pressure go down, feel more relaxed and not be “hooked to anything” but the moments, the sounds of the birds or the person next to you talking to you.


When I was going to college years ago in 1984 and graduated in 1986 before my marriage to the rocket scientist-(which lasted a good fifteen years)…cell phones hadn’t been invented yet and Twitter and Facebook were a pipe dream.

Hard to image how I existed, but I did.

In relation to solitude Ernest Dimnet wrote:

“The Art of Thinking is the art of being one’s self and this art can only be learned if one is by one’s self.”

He also wrote, which is food for thought:

“Solitude produces exhilaration of consciousness, the consciousness of our innermost, whatever that may be.”

I hope these quotes from great minds like Ernest Dimnet and myself help you look at life in a different way and to capture the lost minutes in ways you never thought of.

Did you know that Lamoignons had a wife who always kept him waiting for dinner? He kept a pad of paper and a pen by the table and wrote during that time. All of those captured minutes, as I call them were transformed into several volumes of spiritual meditations.

Since I commute on the bus every day for 45 minutes one way, I am going to take my pad and pen with me and try writing and see if I can manage to do it. I do listen to my iPod or a good PodCase on iHeart Radio or live Radio Show, which is entertaining and as good as any “book on tape” or “Audio Book.”…and free if you have a SmartPhone or iPod.

Are there minutes you can “repurpose” rather than waste? If you commute on a bus bring a book, bring an old fasioned pad of paper and a pen. If you can’t afford a computer for a word processing program like MS Word like I swear by, everyone can afford a pad of paper and pen. Also, if you have a SmartPhone, you can write on a blog or on the NotePad or on a file on collaboration tool that allows you to collaborate with anyone in the world on books or anything you desire. (The files are private so only you and the people you choose can see or manipulate them!)

Books will never ever be outdated. There is a place for Nooks, Kindles, iPods and books with covers and pages.

Pros for a book: No electricity and moderately priced and you can pick one up in a flash of a second and put it away when you feel like it. Many things are only available in book form today. Plus there is something special about reading a book that is nearly 70 years old and in the original, unmodified text.

Many like The Fannie Farmer Cook Book have been through so many revisions, Fannie Farmer isn’t even mentioned in newer printings!! She created the first cooking school and regulated measurements that we know today like teaspoons, cups etc. Before that it was a “pinch of this or that”. To elimate the founder of The Boston Cooking School is a major blunder, but that is what happens when too many editors touch something. The original message gets lost key elements are left out. Revisions in books are like having different cooks adding their own ingredients to a pot of soup. After twenty years worth, the book becomes nothing like what the original author wrote. I like to read what the author wrote. It is part of history.

Make sure during your day, after exercising your brain for hours that you take time and do some yoga, take a nice walk and reflect on the day. It will make you feel better, clear your mind and create a balance by exercising yourself “below the waist”. That is something I am working on and am using my BodyTrac that is like a sophisticated rowing machine.


To sum this, if you are not American or are from another country and English is your second language, LEARN ENGLISH FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR CHILDREN and YOU and YOUR CHILD’s FUTURE. Children in America are required to learn English in schools but their parents are not.

The pros to learning English:

You will be able to communicate easily to anyone in the United States.

You can communicate with your children, make more friends and get higher paying jobs. I am sure you never thought about reading, writing and English literacy that way before. I hope if I did one thing by writing this, that I inspire people to learn and become more than what they are by learning a basic skill kids learn in grade school. Literacy will change your life for the better in countless ways.

Those reasons should be enough to get into an adult literacy course. Most libraries offer them for FREE, or they can direct you where to go to learn English in your area.

We as human beings, have many parts to our beings. The trick is to accomplish what you need to without overdoing it in any one area.

Allow yourself at least an hour or more of solitude and pay attention to how much better you feel and how much more productive you are when you are around people.

It is true.

Try it.

Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko

Copyright January 2014

Clouds and Blue Sky Image from Google Imgages

All other photographs taken by Paulette L. Motzko with exception to Paulette Le Pore at her Nanny’s Henry F. Miller piano, which was taken by my dad Ernest C. Le Pore when I was 9 years old. The year I began playing piano & writing music, cooking and exploring writing.

Our Country Isn’t Perfect But We Have The Ability To Choose & Have Freedom


It is true that I don’t care for many of the actions of our country’s leaders and hope that we as a nation take a smarter, more responsible turn for the better soon.

I hope companies like Starbucks getting into the political arena, will make those in The White House think about creating a sound, workable budget for our nation before the year’s end. I signed Starbuck’s ComeTogetherNow petition urging congress to end..and it did shortly after.

I signed it and urged my friends to sign, even speaking out in my local Starbucks explaining why it would be a great idea to sign it to everyone in the Starbucks. People smiled and thanked me for telling them, and they signed it and wanted to read my blogs.

We all, no matter who we are can make a difference, and don’t ever underestimate or undermine your power or influence in changing what you don’t like in the world.

Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Veteran’s Day 2013

Image found on Pinterest

Affirmation of The Day: Peace Among Chaos, Time Outs, & Clear Thinking

Always remember if you were treated with indifference, or are a victim of verbal abuse that all people in the world are not that way. The most difficult thing to do is to treat people with kindness and respect, knowing they are not guilty of anything but simply being. Find a center deep inside you that becomes the wells spring from which everything that is good in you, kind in you draws from.


Image from Pinterest, Author Unknown

Two wrongs don’t make a right and just because you around people who are abusive, racists, show hatred or even stupid..RISE ABOVE THEM AND SHOW CLASS, INTELLIGENCE and INTEGRITY. Later you will be glad you did.


Image courtesy of Pinterest, Author Unknown

If you are upset, go somewhere where you find peace and comfort and come back when you have calmed down and cooled off and know you are in a better state of mind.

Wherever it is where you can go, think more clearly. Even if you need to stay for a few hours, try and do so. What you will find, from my personal experience, is you will feel refreshed and feel better about making any important decision(s) you need to.


Photo Montage Created by Paulette Le Pore Motzko

The world can go crazy all around you, and in many respects mine is now, but it doesn’t mean you have to go crazy with it.

Create a list of the things that bother you most and then write the solutions to them.

Stay centered on your solutions every day.

Give yourself credit for how far you have come each day.

Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
October 5th, 2013
5:03 p.m.

Photo Montage created by
Paulette Le Pore Motzko Photography Studios

Poor Allocation of Monetary Resources in CA, Preferential Treatment in the Work Place & Drug Use Rising


Poor Allocation of Monetary Resources in CA

& Preferential Treatment to Vietnamese & Mexicans in the Work Place-Unfair

& Drug Use Rising to Epidemic Proportions

Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko

Copyright September 2013, Paulette Le Pore Motzko

(This is a political post with my views about being more proactive about the many problems that are in epidemic proportions in CA now. I can’t speak for what your town or state looks like, but after living here for the better part of 40 years….I can speak for this one. It wasn’t always this way. On every corner if you walk and take the bus-which I do, you will see one homeless man or woman, one beggar, one crazy person and then one normal one.

I am not exaggerating this. We need to crack down on the drug use because I see too many people holding conversations with themselves! When I took the bus years ago when I was 18 the people wore suits and carried brief cases like I did-when I was getting my first college degree. Now people argue and rarely can I take a bus without being asked for money, hearing two people argue and nearly get into a fight, or see at least 10 crazy people. I am just an honest lady, I don’t drink, smoke, do drugs and wouldn’t if you paid me a few thousand bucks. Why is that? The stuff kills you or screws you up so badly that you won’t know it when you are! I was in a car accident over 15 years ago because I had a seizure behind the wheel as I have epilepsy. The pills didn’t work. I was thankful as I heard applause from all my neighbors, the paramedics and ambulances when I heard them clap and say, “Thank God she’s Alive!”

I knew I would never drive again because it was traumatizing to not see the accident happen. The car was crunched in the chain link fence of a school yard. It was my worst nightmare and it came true. I thank God THAT NO BODY WAS HURT OR KILLED.

Much in the same way, don’t do anything that can alter who you are.

I have taken pills since I was a small child of nine years old.

I am so busy thanking God that times are better now that I wouldn’t for the life of me mess it up with any foreign substance like drugs or alcohol or meth or other disgusting garbage. Make the most of yourself not the least. We need to do something in our communities so we can get back the safe environments we once had and hopefully create programs that warn against how harmful using drugs can be.)

You were given gifts in life and only one chance around. Take care of what God gave you and don’t.

Pass this around and send it to people who can help make a change for the better.



I never dreamed I would ever see a time when I would take the bus and see a blind man who was so poor he carried a huge tree branch for a cane like Moses- who would tell me he had no place to live. I am a disabled American citizen who on August 31st became 52 years young. I have epilepsy and after many years and a recent reassessment am now getting $886 a month. When rent in southern California and goes for a minimum of $1200 to an outlandish $1800 a month for a one bedroom; my $886 buys nothing really. I realize this is the same plight with the millions of Americans who are also getting SSI checks.

It buys me peace of mind, and before I finally won my SSI case with Bill La Tour, I had to worry constantly if I couldn’t make a living or if my health was less than perfect. I would stay in southern CA if I hadn’t been told there was an 8 year wait to get a place with HUD housing, Section 8. I have talked about allocating more money to the governor and the director of the Urban Housing Authority, but they simply don’t care.

Apathy is the worst crime of all, and to allow blind people to walk around with no resources, no home, disabled ladies I see and disabled men and our supposed honored veterans to not have adequate housing is a travesty.

I am suggesting adding several million dollars to the CA Housing Program. That can be done several ways. Would you like me to tell you how?

1.     Let me see the current budget in Orange County and how it is being allocated. There are funding sources all over from Private Foundations that could donate to a worthwhile cause. Why not tap into them? As the former Founder & CEO of The Epilepsy Connection, there are always people who when working together, can accomplish great things.

2.     Cutting salaries ever so slightly from over paid paper turners and trimming parties and other needless things that the paper turners add up on expensive tabs that take out of other needed programs that are not being filled.

3.     Have the mayor take the OCTA bus on his next day off and see how lousy the system and how dirty the buses are. Let him also see how going just a few miles from you house can take up to two hours! We need additional bus lines, especially on the 29 buses going north and south ward. We need to compete with other places like Long Beach that far supersedes OCTA in how often the buses come and also how much cheaper it is to ride. I would only ride for 25 cents in Long Beach and blind people and those in wheelchairs ride free.

Why should I have to move out of the state to afford anything? The facts are, I shouldn’t have to. We need rent control in Orange County because the landlords are getting rich and people cannot afford the rent, which is why you see so many people living sub-standard lives living out of someone’s bedroom for $500 and $600 a month! In Orange County we have what I call a TRIPLE LOSS SYNDROME. The rich who own the apartment complexes are getting richer, homelessness is on the rise, drug use and it is just going to get worse until someone opens their eyes and looks around and thinks of solutions to making living in Orange County, CA a pleasant experience.

There is a better life out there folks in CA than living in someone’s house while they make money off your existence! Aside from New York and CA, the most expensive states in the nation, a person can live a good life with no program required to get a nice apartment.
I had 3 houses when I was married and I just want simple and apartment life has what I want with no maintenance on the property.
I also like the spa, pool, club house and more social life style it offers.

There is just deperation on every corner here in southern CA.
This is a typical scene at the bus stop.


In the photo above on the right hand side of the photo…that shopping cart is someone’s house! I have seen so many people literally counting pennies here and asking me for money. They don’t know my situation and how few pennies of my own until my next SSI check comes in.

I had a breakthrough seizure earlier because the guy I am staying with me yelled at me when I got up. I am a pretty easy lady to please. My pills work when I am not living in a weird stressful situation, which I have been for some months after Mike Bunker evicted me when I elected to live in the property my parent’s owned helping them almost completely make their house payment. (Some people scrape the bottom of the barrel of class and integrity and that is true for what was my sister and brother in law who saw me as not a person but expendable and in the way.)

I have my mother Ramona still, who won’t know where I am going because she will only try and stop me and has no idea the hell I have been through this year.

There is no reason for her to know.

She will see my new place and I have to stay focused and DO WHAT I KNOW IS THE BEST FOR ME: THAT IS NOT A CRIME. IT IS MY TURN NOW.

I moved here when I was 6 years old from Tucson, AZ and my father, who was a salesperson, how in heaven looking down on me now, took the four kids, of which I am the youngest, and a U-haul truck, and drove the Rambler station wagon to southern CA. He had the idea that he could do better out in CA and wanted to see the Pacific Ocean and beach. That we did, and yes, he did do better in sales and there is no comparison to Orange County, CA the big city and where I grew up, only that you can afford a place to live in Arizona and most cannot here in CA.

Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one that can see these inadequacies and I am walking around as if in a bad movie. I know there can be ways these things can change, only if enough want to see change.

I was going to run for office if I had stayed in Orange County. I have my mother here who means the world to me. That is great. My first choice would be to get a nice apartment and stay here and visit mom whenever I want. That is not the choice that I am given though. After numerous letters and faxes to everyone I can think of to grant me the housing voucher I would need in order to remain in CA. I refuse to live a mediocre existence, going broke paying storage fees monthly keeping my upright grand piano in storage, along with my library and office and gourmet kitchen.

There is so much to change here and if you are a congressman and are reading this, what can you do to keep me in southern CA? What changes can be made by the heads of the state? I would be in politics here if I remained here, but with $886 a month, I barely live on it and if I make one cent over that amount, guess what happens to my Social Security Income? It goes down by one cent!! I found that out the hard way. A friend of mine gave me two generous cash presents this last year and it appeared on my bank statement. A social worker spotted it in Garden Grove and told me I owed $1200! Well, that is convenient for them isn’t it? They owed me $1200 for the many hotels I have been forced to stay in since my rotten brother in law Mike Bunker (who was made power of attorney for my mother by my dad-which was against the law, since mom has Alzheimer’s disease and is mentally incompetent! Any documents she signed are void. He evicted me from my mother’s house on Hockey Street, even though I have vested interest in it and paid rent there 13 years, which helped pay my parent’s mortgage almost in full each month. I paid $600 a month and their house payment was $800.

Jerome at the SSA in Tucson, AZ looked and in one millisecond said, “Oh my God Miss, Something is terribly wrong! You have been underpaid about $600 a month since you won your case! What happened?” I replied, I have been complaining to the Vietnamese that run the Garden Grove SSA office, but was told “I had to go there”. Fact is, I could go anywhere and I did. The Garden Grove Social Security office has the worse reviews of all of them and no positive ones. That should get someone investigating how they are cooking the books there and passing their own kind and turning white people away.

I went to the Social Security office in Santa Ana, CA and talked to Miss Ortega. I poured out my soul, blood, guts and tears to her and told her my tragic story. She listened and learned and then acted. Something I wish more did who work in the welfare and social service programs. Immediately the error was fixed and my new adjusted amount was $886. In one day in less than 10 minutes!

I am a victim of racial discrimination and will probably get an attorney to file charges on those that made me wait to get my first check. I am owed a minimum of $5,400 that I am still fighting for and they are coming up with excuses why they don’t have to pay me. Facts are:

My proof of income statement for SSI was $486. It was supposed to be $886, which means I was shortchanged $400. Take that $400, which is some people’s entire check for the month, and multiply it by __August 2012 to present date and you will get the amount I am owed.

I am requesting a thorough crack down and investigation on the Garden Grove Social Security Office and also in the Medical and Food Stamp Building. I was turned down 3 times to get medical Cal Optima Medical and one day I pieced all the papers together and saw the correlation-they were all had last names of “Nguyen” which is the equivalent of Smith in Vietnamese. I called the CEO/ Executive Director of Medical/Cal Optima and said I would sue everyone in the chain of command who had something to do with this FRAUD because I didn’t need a kid to get medical as they said I did!

I remember when I was first applying for Medical and Cal Optima and I was there a grand total of 7 hours. Guess what I got-Nothing! Guess what the Mexican couple who were not American citizens got who had the 3 kids? They got Medical, Food Stamps and General Relief in 20 minutes! There is something corrupt going on with our programs and I want it outlawed.

My Medical benefits were wired to Sacramento by a lady named Barbara at the Garden Grove office and I had Medical one week later.

Why does that matter now? I shouldn’t have had to suffer because of someone’s stupidity. I went to hospitals, was misdiagnosed, nearly died and still have medical bills I shouldn’t have when I was uninsured. I lost years of my life due to idiots who are put in the position of helping people and supposedly caring about their welfare. I could probably sue for several million dollars just by showing the records of just a few of the hospitals I was at needlessly, repeatedly instead of just giving me the insurance to pay to see a good neurologist and to pay for my Tegretol and Vimpant for epilepsy costing which is really expensive without insurance but making me the healthiest I have ever been in my life. That is the only diagnosis I have; I just need a place to live to call MY OWN with my own things around me again.

 (I have two college degrees and never idly sit. I look. I pay attention. And I see who comes and goes in there and who is counting their money and the ones with money are Vietnamese. The government claims that they brought the Vietnamese over as a “payback for the war”? What did you to do the Americans who lived there all their lives like my dad who died a poor man and was still fighting to get medical on his deathbed? There is something gravely wrong with our priorities and it is not a fair place to live.

We should promote English first and teach people over 18 who are Vietnamese and Mexican English period. I shouldn’t have to learn Vietnamese to get a job or Spanish. When a person with two college degrees like me can only become a trash collector because it is the only “non-bilingual” job, Orange County’s priorities and rules have to change.

I am not the only one who feels the way I do. I am just the only one with courage to speak out about it.

It is against my civil rights to be treated any differently than a woman with kids. I couldn’t have children for medical reasons and should be given the same opportunities, given the same benefits and I have needed housing for 3 years. I am white, disabled; American and I chose to take care of my parents after my divorce in 2001 to my rocket scientist husband.

I would never in a trillion years think I would hear one human being utter the words “We don’t want a white teacher”, but I did! I am enraged because I work 3 times as hard to do something I had residual income doing for 20 years. I am a master piano teacher and now my piano is in a storage vault, along with everything I own since April 2013.

As I look around I see a kind of farce. I wonder if I leave here, if anyone will make it better and if the congressmen and women will read this and wake up and have consciousness a do what it right for once.

I am going to send this to my congressmen and women and some of the news media and a few more and see where it goes.

I also want to leave you with a final thought.

I am not a racist but I hate people to teach their kids to hate. That is what Garden Grove in Little Saigon turned into. Vietnamese teach their kids to hate white people; they are the ones who never say hello back and for the most part. They don’t care to ever learn how to say hello, communicate in any shape or form with the people who were born in this country and are English speaking.

That is a problem that I would like to see erased by making them realize the merits of speaking English.

IT is a slap in the face of every American to segregate them out of the job market. How dare the morons who are running the cities to open it only to the Vietnamese and Mexicans. That is exactly what you are doing when every job in Santa in a huge book that I went through for hours, requires you speak either Vietnamese or Spanish. What is American about that? You wonder why there are so many homeless, on drugs and crazy people riding the buses these days.

I can see the big picture.

Can you see the big picture?

America is supposed to have equal opportunities for everyone yet that is not what is happening now. Women are getting $800 per child and people are “getting children then you will get $800”.  It isn’t the $800 a month for a mother who really needs extra money for her child I resent, but having no income whatsoever because my ex moved to another state, having nobody help locate him, because I didn’t have kids, and having to live off nothing for two years. Actually the $400 I got from having a roommate is what I lived on! IF YOU DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN IN THIS COUNTRY IT IS AS THOUGH YOU ARE DEAD OR DON’T MATTER. THAT IS WRONG!

WE SHOULD PROMOTE AWARENESS, BIRTH CONTROL AND EDUCATION TO AVOID THIS ABUSING THE SYSTEM. Also, if a person doesn’t have a job, they shouldn’t be bringing a child into the world! The child is innocent and doesn’t deserve to come into a world where not only do they not have a father but have no home. Birth control needs to be taught at a much earlier age in the Latina communicates and it is not a “sin” to use birth control. It is smart and needed. Let the priests have the babies and raise them. A child deserves two parents, a loving household and if they aren’t getting that, something is very wrong.

It is not a family they are fostering but a money making institution. It is disgusting! I taught piano for 20 years and care about children, truly care about their welfare, want to mentor them, encourage them and realize they are innocent in the whole charade. The child is losing in this though. Children are having babies and I am wondering if it is possible to see a Latino girl who is 12 or 16 without a child in stroller. When was the last time you saw one?

Take a look around and pay attention what nationality the managers are at the restaurants you go into. Are they Mexican or Vietnamese? When was the last time you saw a white one? I hate to be so blunt here, but when was it. America was supposed to create equality among races but I could have got a great job in CA but my name would have to have been Nguyen or Lopez. If that were the case I would be a manager somewhere.

If the Vietnamese in my old neighborhood Little Saigon weren’t such bigots, I would still be earning $50 an hour as a Master Piano Teacher, but they were. Do I think that all Vietnamese are bigots? No. I have many friends who are Vietnamese, but they are English speaking, know manners, open doors care about communicating and are grateful for the privilege of being in America.

Racism isn’t a crime but it should be but I suggest a screening process that won’t allow people who hate white people to come in the United States. You should have to do something to warrant you being privileged to be in the USA. Not simply be here to rape our welfare system dry so there is no more for the real disabled that truly have no place to live.

I will be moving out of state because I know I can get a one bedroom place for under $450. I would rather live a better quality life where I am smiled at and treated fairly and don’t have to worry about preferential treatment for other races.  

The president of the United states is busy taking luxurious, extravagant trips and the first lady is showing off her $300 tennis shoes while the average working class person is suffering, doing without and the basic needs of the disabled and our poor veterans are not even honored with a place to live after protecting our country and in many cases having to live with a lifelong disability-all for the price of war! Does that paint an ugly picture? Yes.

Should American citizens pay to have the white house redecorated whenever the First Lady gets a whim? I don’t think so. The president was rich before he was elected and if he took the bus with me one day he might have a better idea of the problems we are facing in CA and in the USA today. There is so much blatant waste within our political officials and they write it off for people like us to pay in the form of a bigger deficit in the fiscal budget and in higher taxes.

 Does that bother you?

It should.

It is the truth.

I want to change that.

If this gets me my voucher I will stay in Orange County be appointed in one of the offices.

I graduated top of my class at Chapman University in their Master’s Certification Program for Voluntary Leadership. I am proud of that because I didn’t have the B.S. degree required to get in the program, but the instructor told me I had the Life Experience and he said if you can do the work-you’re in. I did.

I also was the presenter at the Summit Meeting that year and people paid $150 to hear me speak and demystify what epilepsy was and wasn’t. I was the CEO Founder of The Epilepsy Connection and helped people for 6 years. I want to see more of a Triple Win Scenario-which is I win, You Win and Society Wins. Better yet, American People First, Other Countries Second and Take Care of Your Own Before Your Give Exon, Chevron and other Billion A Year Oil Companies nearly $40 Billion Dollars a year in subsidies. Hell, you can’t even subsidize the poorest of the poor, the disabled and veterans. It is disturbing when there are so many more pressing needs in the United States and they need to be addressed immediately.

Why should Libya warrant a billion dollars a year when we have people dying in our streets in the USA?

How can you sleep at night MR. President when the First Lady redecorates the White House again and again and we buy more bombs and you threaten countries that are no apparent threat? Do you think this thing called Presidency is a game?

You didn’t fund the space program. The first time in history that a president didn’t’ fund the space and defense program. How do you think your Blackberry works MR. President? It is from the satellites in the sky put up by companies like Motorola and the Iridium program (that my ex Mark Matzo who is a Chief Specialist on the Delta Rocket and is with United Launch Alliance– helped put into place).

The space program is needed because it costs money to launch the many satellites from other countries like France, India, China, Russia and it is through things like the Space Station have we for the first time in history are working with the Russians side by side for one common goal.

I say, to you Mr. Obama, what did the oil companies give you to do that? What profit and money are you making from giving outlandish tax breaks to the richest companies?

There is a terrible unfair dichotomy between the rich and the poor in my town anyway, which is Orange County, CA.

After being married to a rocket scientist and getting a pretty good grade in Logic Class in college it just looks like a crazy circus in Orange County, but I know it can change for the better seeing that those that need help most get the help they deserve.

I call myself a fire starter or a Catalyst for Positive Change.

I know there are more than myself who also are disturbed by these things.

Write your local congressman about these issues and lobby to change them.

If you are white and you feel you have been treated unfairly by the Garden Grove Social Security Office Contact the FRAUD HOTLINE at: ______

Remember this important fact:

You cannot sue the government but you can sue people who work for the government.

That fact is liberating and could change your life.

Nobody wants to fight in this life for anything, but I have fought many wars. I only want health, peace of mind, and a nice place to live for myself and my mother. I want my brother in law to face charges of elder abuse I treating me as though I was an animal, which I am not.

I am my mother’s voice now that she can no longer speak for herself. It is my job to make sure she gets all the proceeds from the property my dad and her bought in 1984 when I was 24. I have vested interest in the property amounting to about $25,000 and I know my mom would want me to have that, since her wishes were to will me the house.

In MA they insure people. They don’t insure their bank accounts.

Why should it matter how much money is in your account to get medical insurance? It is nobody’s business what is in mine and shouldn’t be the government’s.

Obama’s bogus health care plan was supposed to get me insurance and remove the pre-existing illness clause. It didn’t. Same old same old. If you are Mexican with 8 kids you have insurance. If you are white, Anglo Saxon, single, divorced, male or female you fight like hell to get insurance and that is wrong.

I hope I see the day where all people in CA have medical insurance and they don’t have to go through what I did.

I hope I see the day where enough people make a fuss and complain about the misallocation of the funds we have in CA and our country in general, to start breaking through the trillion dollar deficit and actually see the United State’s in a health fiscal state.

We (The USA) won’t ever be in a healthy financially if we keep giving to Exon, Chevron and Libya billions a year to borrow from China to keep the stupid vicious circle going.

Wake up Mr. President and learn how to balance a budget and take care of your people For God’s Sake!

I was thinking about it and I feel like I am a female Robin Hood. Instead of taking from the poor to give to the rich, which is what the president is doing now and the government as his accomplice, I want to take from the rich and give to the neediest of the needy, give to our honored veterans like my father (now in heaven) who passed away one year ago September from advanced congestive heart failure, stroke and was severely crippled with osteoarthritis. The VA Hospital did a lousy job with him allowing the paramedics to come down our drive way about ever other day, until I insisted he stay in an assisted living care place, because my mother-who is 82 years old with Alzheimer’s disease, is responsible for all the good qualities I possess. Integrity and honesty are in my DNA. I have a moral conscious and more who work for in our government should think about creating a triple win so everybody can live a life that sustains them, supplying them with what they need to live.

Very simply put, fill the needs before you take lavish trips and have the American taxpayers pay for them. Mr. President you were rich to begin with and so is the first lady. I don’t care where you go, but address the issues needed in CA and other parts of the USA before you take a trip or give money away to other countries. Then if you take a trip, pay for it with your own money. If you want to redecorate, pay for it with your own money. The country is in debt because people are abusing the entire system.

I am worried because of so many people abusing the EBT card system; it will vanish for those who need it most. I have a resume that beats most people. I type 80 w.p.m, am a good writer, photographer and marketing consultant. Discrimination against disabled people still exists, even though the American with Disabilities Act has made great strides for opportunities for disabled people.

Allocate more money to the HUD Housing program. It needs it urgently. I know a guy named Via who has been homeless for 10 years. He is in a wheelchair and lives in his van. He gets about $900 a month in SSDI I think and I know a lady named Ernestine who is crippled in a wheelchair with no home too. Facts are: SSI Income is so low it requires a subsidized housing program to live in an apartment anywhere.

You must address this. To say there is an 8 year wait is to undermine the intelligence of every disabled person in CA. The open mouth gets fed in this world and I am not waiting 8 years. I will move out of the state out of sheer necessity before I do that.

I am speaking for every disabled man and woman who needs an advocate who doesn’t exist in this county. I am their voice. I have been the voice of many disabled people who had epilepsy and dual diagnosis as the CEO of The Epilepsy Connection.

I hope I can  make positive changes that will change people’s lives now and in the future.

Paulette Le Pore Motzko

September 20th, 2013

12:15 midnight

Stanton, CA,USA


Homeless guy who served in the military and was wounded. He has the gun shot to prove it! He shouldn’t be homeless. America should take care of those who protected for us, fought for us, and were injured permanently for us.
Hear that Mr. President??

I want the best for everybody, no matter what race, color or creed. I hope everyone has more than enough so they never worry or stress. The more money I have the less stress I have and I was used to a nice life when I was married.

if you have no place to live here, and have a steady income coming in check out Arizona, Las Vegas, or New Mexico. You will be living in a nice place for what your paying for that room you’re in now. Check it out.

I like the ocean but I am not a mermaid! I will come back and visit the thing and my mother. Meanwhile, life has given me no other choices but onward and upward.

God bless all who reads this and I hope you have a steady job that pays enough and you have all your needs met.

I will be glad when the planets align to enable me to teach piano again, have my things around me, my privacy my life.

Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Updated September 20, 2013

Who is Part of Your Garden of Friends and Why?

I have many friends that I genuinely care about on Facebook and do not simply “collect friends” like a collection of bangle bracelets on my arm!

One of my dearest friends Raj Naheem wrote recently that “I was part of his garden of friends growing like a rose”, or something to that effect. I will say, thank you Raj for being there for me in good times and bad and bringing out the best of who I am and being able to see it always shining through.


Friends are like these tuberoses growing and the best of friends grow side by side with you like these do here, even though maybe you live 100’s of miles apart, you are joined in the thoughts and beliefs you both share, your definition of good and bad, and the passions, talents and abilities you both share.

Much like the stem, leaves and the flower itself are one unified whole, I go through life knowing that my values, integrity, goodness and compassion I show outwardly are all interconnected to eachother. People notice the flowers in a garden first but it couldn’t support itself if it didn’t have the stem rooted in the ground deriving nutrients from the soil.
I think of my soul as what the soil is to the flower, giving it balance, making it stronger, being almost as essential as the water and the sun.


The world sees our faces but deep within shines outwardly our soul, the DNA of who we are and what we value. There is nothing more important in what we possess in life.

This is why we can see a woman who for all good purposes is beautiful to the eye…a deception, but when she opens her mouth, if profanity, disgust and hate shine through, she is not truly beautiful but an illusion.

Our faces are like the blooms in a flower but who we are, what we value, and our attitude towards other people and humanity color us beautiful or ugly.

Choose your friends and family members carefully.

After the age of 20 or 30 years old, who is in our lives is a choice. We hold the control buttons.

Unknowingly, you will pick up attributes and qualities from them. You could go from being a splendid red rose to be shown off in a vase only to become a dandelion weed to be picked and thrown away with the trash!

Paulette Le Pore Motzko

“Write Your Sad Times in Sand Your Great Times in Stone


“Write your sad times in sand, write your great times in stone.”- George Bernard Shaw

If this doesn’t speak reams about what you place importance on in life, I don’t know what does. Thank you Beedempled Brain on Facebook for showing me this fantastic quote from the late great George Bernard Shaw.

I hope it inspires my 728 followers as much as it did me.


Paulette Le Pore Motzko



“In this short Life that only lasts an hour…..

In this short life that only lasts an hour….

How much- how little – is within our power.”

– Emily Dickinson

Emily Dickinson hated to go out in public and wrote very deep poems, each one being numbered instead of named. I have her complete works by Ralph Franklin, the Director of the Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library  at Yale University and two other books about Emily Dickinson. She is one of the many authors I read about when studying and analyzing the works of Shakespeare, Edgar Allen Poe, Henry David Thoreau, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Carl Sands-who was a woman, but used a man’s name because women did not have the rights that they do today and would never have gotten published! Can you believe it?

This one is short but it is very true.

Needless our lives don’t really last an hour, but she uses that as a metaphor to show how quickly time goes by.


If I had but Two Loaves of Bread…..

This quote gives me one more reason to read the great philosophical work called The Koran.

“If I had but two loaves of bread, I would sell one and buy hyacinths, for they would feed my soul.


There is food for the body and for our nourishment and sustenance……like this Farm House Whole Wheat that I made.

A field of hyacinths for beauty to nourish the soul and refresh the spirit.

A field of hyacinths for beauty to nourish the soul and refresh the spirit.