Allowing Families to Know Be the Boss of How Many Children They Have
(Removing the Stigma that Birth Control is a Sin)
I hesitated printing this piece in fear that I would outrage too many people. This is America though, and I have discussed this with people all over and gotten many supporters of this view-point. In life, you can worry about how many people you outrage and never do anything, feel anything or speak your mind. This is mine, and I believe that no matter who you are, you should be accountable for what you do.
The Catholic Church is not the only one that makes people feel like they are committing sins for using birth control; many other “religions” do that same thing. As you know, religions were created by men, and women have the babies! I don’t think one “religion” was created by a woman, was there?
I placed education first, couldn’t have kids for medical reasons and knew that when I was a kid. I grew up quickly and knew the real facts of life at nine years old. I taught children for 20 years and love children and stand up for their rights all the time. You don’t have to give birth to a child to care about them as a whole, any more than I need to give birth to dolphins or whales to care about the sea and clean water.
I hope I get more supporters than nay sayers. I hope that people think about the crux of the problem with our welfare system and how it taxes our country. By going to the root of the problem, or at least one of the biggest ones-the guilt trip organized religions (Catholicism etc.,) place on families who might otherwise make wiser decisions for themselves if they weren’t made to feel guilty.
It should be a crime if you allow yourself to get pregnant and know you have no way to support the child. All of a sudden there is another life on the line, one too small to speak for itself.-a baby. Birth control is not a sin nor is planned parenthood. It is called intelligent, responsible and what needs to be taught at early ages to decrease teen out-of-wedlock pregnancies and reduce abortions, which I do not agree with. THE SIN IS NOT USING BIRTH CONTROL AND LIVING LIKE ANIMALS WITH NO MORAL CONSCIOUS ABOUT WHAT YOU DO.
When my ex husband, who is a rocket scientist didn’t pay me alimony for 2 years and made it impossible for me to find him, I was introduced into the welfare system and when I saw how many children were being raised by children, and I saw how the CHILDREN WERE LOSING. IT WASN’T FAIR TO THEM. We need to address this on a broad scope in terms of family planning classes held within various churches. It is part of life and to avoid it is like burying our heads in the sand, any more than dodging sex education is an important part of being an adult.
Imagine instead that every family could choose how many children they had, without guilt, or being made to feel evil for being responsible and doing what they know is right for them. I think the Church medals in areas they shouldn’t. My mother and father were married for 63 years and it would be been 64 if my father had lived to see it. The “church” didn’t recognize their marriage because my dad was married to another lady and she cheated on him when he was in the service. Was that his fault? He was only married a few months and mom was the wonderful lady who he married after and had four children with and yet they acted like he wasn’t good enough. It was not fair to him or my mother who was like a saint-rearing his children. She wanted to become Catholic and wanted to go to communion together, but the “church” ruined that goal. Why would they do that?
Where children are concerned, I want the churches of the world to think QUALITY RATHER THAN QUANTITY. Having a dozen kids that the parents cannot afford doesn’t make it right. I don’t think God thinks that is a good thing, when they have to rely on government assistance to feed them. That isn’t how it is supposed to work.
I would rather the parent have one or two that they can raise, teach, clothe and show values to, spend time with and make proud one day-that they can afford financially to support. That child will thank his or parents when he becomes an adult that they did that because it allowed him to be the doctor or engineer or nurse that they did.
Removing the stigma of making birth control a sin has to go because it is stupid, out dated and was created by people who don’t live in the real world. Those who created those laws were men, because NO WOMAN WOULD MAKE A LAW THAT WOULD NOT GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO GIVE BIRTH OR PREVENT HERSELF FROM HAVING ANY MORE. WHEN A WOMAN GETS TO BE 30 IT BECOMES DANGEROUS TO HAVE CHILDREN AND BIRTH DEFECTS ARE INCREASED. A WOMAN IS NOT A HORSE THAT YOU PUT OUT TO PASTURE OR A “BABY MAKER” THAT JUST KEEPS ON GIVING. Thinking in this way goes back to the dark ages, and in 2013 we are very sophisticated people and I hope that my words ignite a light bulb of understanding that wasn’t there before on this.
I mention that because the Pope is simply a man who wears a big hat and outfit and gets really great meals each night, but he is human and makes mistakes. The Church makes mistakes and has made thousands of them through the years. As the years change and people become enlightened, things change and I hope I put this story in the hands of the heads of The Catholic Church so they can think in a way they never thought before.
I make some valid points here that cannot be denied and children are not like gifts under a Christmas tree-in the same way they are always called “Gifts from God”. They are gifts but each child earns the right to have two parents and be raised with not only love but the funds required for clothing, education, and other important considerations.
Birth control is a very needed thing in that it allows parents to do what Planned Parenthood has known all along-control how many children one brings into a family. Many women like myself had health conditions stopping them from having children. If they would have had kids it could be fatal and caused great health risks and also caused birth defects. I am not the only woman in the world who is can say this, meaning the Catholic Church in general needs to re-examine their stance on parenting and what it means to be a good parent. Also, what is a parent’s role? If a parent’s role is to crank out as many kids as possible like some kind of contest, at the risk of all, then by all means forget birth control. However, if a parent’s role is to raise the most intelligent young people who are raised in a positive environment, with role models that urge them to further their educations, then the fewer the children, the more attention can be given on the few the parent has.
I believe the parent’s role is to bring out the best you have to offer in that child’s life. A parent is a lot like a gardener nurturing that little bloom to one day blossom with love, tender loving care and hopefully imparting every positive element in the two parent’s personalities.
Many never think along those lines, and just succumb to animalistic sex for sex sake acts, bringing kids into the world who have kids for parents and due to the immaturity of the parent, the child is coming into the world at already a disadvantage.
It makes me sad to think of it.
The Church in general, no matter what faith, needs to teach and set better examples for the young men and women, who at sixteen already have two children when they are not even adults! I cannot imagine what kind of parent would allow this.
When the Pope Changes and Catholic Church Change So Does the World
Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Copyright March 23, 2013
I was so happy to hear on Fox News about the church endorsing stem cell research. It is encouraging, as a Catholic, do hear that the church is waking up and getting out of the dark ages. Part of being responsible adults is to welcome evidence in science that can help us live longer, overcome disease like Alzheimer’s Disease-which my mother has and I care about finding cures for and preventative treatments for, among many others.
When the video played I began speaking this and then I opened up MS Word and the words I have been rehearsing about the issues presented here began flowing out.
Along with the new Pope Francis, I hope this is an omen or a sign that he is bringing with him a new more enlightened mind. He is the leader and the whole Catholic Church follows what he says and orders. I have been very unhappy with the pope going to third world countries and telling them to not use condoms when they are dying from being overpopulated. That is like telling them to kill themselves. UNICEF and other organizations invest their time and effort and send men and women to educate and show less educated countries about birth control.
Birth control is a necessary thing to employ to be responsible adults no matter where you live. I came from a family of 6-me being the youngest, two brothers and my sister the oldest. I learned what birth control was when I was nine years old and where babies really came from because I was too intelligent to buy the story about the stork dropping babies from the sky! I was diagnosed with epilepsy at nine years old and was a very sickly child and didn’t know what health was until much later at 14 years old when Tegretol came around.
The point I am making is, there is never a young age to learn about the body, what it does and also what things to prevent. I taught children piano for 20 years and care about their welfare, their lives and their futures. I couldn’t have children due to having epilepsy. It would have caused great birth defects on the child and the risk was too high. So, my husband and I knew having children was out. That is alright. Having children is a choice and not right for all. More people should be honest with this and know what kind of person they are, because many shouldn’t have them and the child suffers.
There are laws and a new way of thinking that I would like the Catholic Church and other Christian based religions to embrace: It is not a sin to use birth control but a gift to the child:
- No child should be raised without a mother and father
- No child should be brought up with someone with no job
- No child should be raised with a family that cannot afford it
By not allowing parents to use their own common sense and making it a “sin” to use birth control pills or other means of contraception, you are forcing them to bring more and more children they cannot afford nor take care of for what reason? Does the priest take care of them or have them? I have seen countless women with 8 kids who look like they are nearly dead giving birth to children they don’t have the money to feed, the father has to work over time to feed and provide for them, and their patience is gone. The child is losing, they will never get a college education and it is a triple loss. All these children cost tax payers and other Americans $800 per child when they go on Welfare because they cannot afford them!
I know this because my ex husband didn’t pay me alimony for two years and I went to get temporary financial assistance to help me live and pay for my needs. I was told “I needed a kid to get money from the government and for me to get a kid!” I couldn’t believe how ridiculous that sounded and also how unfair it was and how it went against my civil rights as a human being. We should give honors to people who are responsible in this country and who care about doing the right thing for all.
Birth control, if not used responsibly, will force families to continue to procreate way past what they can afford, forcing them to be parents long after they should, setting a child up for failure with no funds available for education, and making the mother die earlier than what she would have otherwise. A woman should be in control of her body and should be able to say when she is giving birth. That is a basic civil right that no priest anywhere has the right to alter. I would get millions of fathers to agree on this and I have discussed this with families I have seen in the welfare offices and they would sign any documents related to this and vote for it.
I have seen this worst in the Latino communities with Mexican young women who should be in college and school and instead they are pushing a stroller with 3 young kids! To all the priests and religious leaders who don’t give birth to the children, nor do pay for them or raise them, open your minds to allow families to be free to decide how many children they raise. It is smart, responsible and fair to the child. The Catholic Church was man-made and men made the laws and in 2013 with our welfare system being taxed to the nines and in California we are going broke paying the $800 per child when simply people could use common sense learn to pay the consequences of what they do. It makes me mad when I see a child lose in this scenario. If you think on this, you will see that we have to stop this vicious cycle and make it a crime for anyone to bring a child into the world if you are not married. In order to do that, you need abstinence and birth control. Once married, you need birth control or every family will have 13 kids and that is ridiculous. The Catholic Church needs to wake up, grow up and enforce teaching about what it is, Planned Parenthood and other issues related to being a mature adult. Abortion is not the answer. It is all in prevention, and that is where birth control and also teaching to young adults what they are signing up to when they consent to have sex with someone. It is greatly needed.
I take the bus, due to almost being killed in a car crash from having a seizure behind the wheel 15 years ago. I see at least a dozen young women who have no idea how to treat a child, how to raise them, and they are about 16 years old with 3 kids. Mexicans are predominantly Catholic. The Catholic Church needs to address this issue, and on the broad spectrum, needs to open its minds and think and contemplate on the words I have said here, and strive for creating a TRIPLE WIN. THE CHILD WINS, THE PARENTS WIN AND WE CREATE FAMILIES THAT CAN TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES WITH THE BUDGETS THEY HAVE AND NOT MAKE THEM FEEL THEY ARE COMMITTING A SIN WHEN THEY USE BIRTH CONTROL MEASURES AND INSTEAD APPLAUD THEIR RESPONSIBLE MATURE ACTIONS.
We currently have a Triple Loss:
- The child loses because the parents have too many children and no one child ever gets the right amount of attention he or she needs to grow up into a responsible, well-adjusted mature adult.
- The parent’s are over taxed and usually cannot afford the huge family they have due to stupid archaic view points on planned parent hood
- Society and the United States lose because we are paying for each one of those children, all for the price of what? Is God happy that each child doesn’t get a college education? Does it make God happy that the mother feels like she should be put out to pasture from having one child a year, having grey hair and having no energy and no time for herself? She has nothing more to give because she has given it 8 times over.
- The family’s bank account cannot support having one child a year, which is what happens when the dark ages method of the rhythm method is used. My sister had two of her children using that. It doesn’t work.
- Believe me, God would be happier to have fewer children who get more attention and who have parents who can raise them, provide for them and who have better temperaments due to the added attention given by the mother and father. The grown child now adult will Thank God for allowing him to grow up and have every amenity a child should have to enable him to get a college education and become the doctor or engineer he did.
- Without rethinking this Triple Loss Scenario, you are forcing families to stay in the minority category and remain on Welfare with others paying for their existence forever. And you are the root of the problem.
- A lot of thought went into this and the solution to how to correct this terrible problem.
Please read this and read it again and make copies and pass it onward.
I might run for office one day. I have had people say they would vote for me.
Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Make Opportunities, Set Goals and Make it Happen.
Make a list of the problems that have been bugging you for the past month or week or year on a simple lined piece of paper.
(I know that computers exist and people type all the time like me typing this sentence. There is something about going back to simpler times of a pen and lined paper that makes this exercise more effective.)
Once you have your list compiled, begin writing and creating solutions to your problems like this:
1. Problem 1
2. Problem 2
3. Problem 3
That is enough to work with. Hopefully you don’t have more than 3 problems, if you do then press onward and keep itemizing them until the paper holds the baggage instead of your shoulders and mind.
Then under each number list the possible solutions like this in a, b, c, d, e, like an outline.
Look at the scenarios you created and choose the best, easiest, to-the-point solution that is the most effective without hurting another person or causing damage on another, that is!
If you have bleeding ulcers caused by a human being, then simply remove that person out of your life and try to find people who are more considerate to your well-being and thoughtful to you.
(I had that happen to me and couldn’t afford the ulcer pills which were $20 a piece, so I simply removed the root of the problem! Doing that removed 3 people out of my world, but I got better really quickly!)
If there are situations in your life that cause problems, list them all down and then do the same thing as in the prior exercise. Find solutions and then apply them in your world.
Things like this can take years of counseling and throw them out the window by simply believing in yourself enough to only associate with positive and loving people and anyone that drags you down or is verbally or physically damaging to you-simply wean yourself away from them permanently.
After all, you have one life to life and then we hope we contribute something positive and lasting to the world once we are gone. How can we do this unless we choose the best friends and care about ourselves enough to do that. The better we treat ourselves the better work we will do, and hence the more successful we will become. My mother taught me that years ago. God bless her Ramona Lea Le Pore.
I wouldn’t be “me” without her, which is why I will continue fighting for her welfare amidst hateful siblings who have their eye on money only and not much of anything else. They are blinded by dollar signs of cashing the house in and I only hope and pray all the proceeds go to my mother’s care for Alzheimer’s disease which is a whopping four thousand dollars a month!I will be moving to Tucson in a few weeks and will be living a better quality life there but I will not forget her and will make frequent trips here to southern CA to see her, my many friends I have built over the last 40 years and the many places I will miss once I am gone.
I know how outgoing I am and how quickly I make friends and the places I am looking at are far better for me than here and the resources for disabled people are far greater than here. I am always open for POSITIVE CHANGE AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO!
Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Monday, March 11th, 2013