What Can Take You To Distant Lands Without Moving?


I wrote this today and posted it first on my site called Photos That Inspire Words, and reblogged it here on Totally Inspired Mind.

I hope you enjoy it.



Image by & Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Photographer for portrait of Miss Motzko was
Leonardo Valencia
Photo Editing & Graphic Arts by Paulette L Motzko

Copyright July 2014 (c)

If you live in the Nevada area and would like to hire Paulette Motzko to shoot photos for you or your company, feel free to call her & text her at: 714 728 6037

Please Hamas Cease Fire. Over 240 Innocent Children Died Because of Arrogance & Stupidity. They did nothing to deserve this!

Gaza violence: Israeli shelling hits U.N. school as Hamas mulls truce via Yahoo News Digest

Get the app and the day’s need-to-know news.


Cease Fire.

In war everybody loses.

All my fellow blogger writer friends, please share this post on your blog and you will be making a valid contrubution to the world to encourage peace.
Thank you to all my writer/blogger friends who already reblogged this on their web sites.

Writers are powerful people.

They can change the world and people’s minds…
One word at a time!
Paulette Le Pore Motzko

Creator of Totally Inspired Mind: Where Positive Minds Congregate
Totally Inspired Mind


The Political Think Tank




Children Are Our Future Now

Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Writer, Photographer, Marketer

God Bless, Preserve & Love America & Share This

God Bless America – Celine Dion – YouTube http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v6fl4QgItA4 (Share from CM Browser)

Our country needs blessing in so many ways and our world needs even a bigger blessing. No matter what your faith or what you believe, it is possible for us to preserve our water systems, recycle our trash and help keep our country in good condition like a valued heirloom or pocket watch handed down to our children. Our country is much greater than a bauble or trinket, but without taking care of our cities, our suburbs and our neighborhoods and being environmentally conscious, our country will not be here to pass down for future generations.

Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
Copyright July 27 2014

God bless the USA

Let us celebrate the every day heroes and heroines. Do you know one?

Every day I run into people who have done amazing things that defy normalcy. In a supermarket line or in the places I go through the day. I pray to meet people like that who have contributed something to the world or defy the odds.

Do you know one of those amazing people?

That person doesn’t have to be a doctor, fireman or police officer but someone you know who made a difference and who is continually making a difference, doing the right thing-without thinking of payment or money, but thinking of the greater good of all.

Helen Keller was my heroine since I was 9 years old, the same year I was diagnosed with epilepsy, began cooking, began playing the piano and began writing. When God handed dealt the deck of life, I have always realized that no matter how much adversity I have experienced, the deck was stacked in my favor. My abilities far outweighed any disability.HelenKeller3.28.2011

I look forward to reading the stories as they come in on this one!

Write a paragraph or two in the comment box. If you are computer literate and have a Word program, simply just write it on Word and copy paste it in the comment/reply box. That is the easiest way, and will make sure you don’t lose your work.

Paulette Le Pore Motzko

July 21st 2014

10:45 p.m.


Images found on Pinterest & Facebook

If Life Were a Movie I Will Tell You Do It Right The First Time Because There are No Retakes & You Can’t Edit the Video!

Sometimes when I am talking to people from a different country than the USA, I will find myself making a point in a new way I think they will understand. That happened this evening here sitting at Target in the Starbucks within.

I was talking to Juan from Mexico who was with his dad an brother. That is one of the most extraordinary things about Las Vegas, NV. The city attracts people from all over the world every day. It is like a really hot Disneyland but here anything can happen, and it isn’t G rated!


Go into a Starbucks in Las Vegas, NV and if you work as an independent contractor, freelance writer, photographer; the odds of meeting international business people are very high. It is one of my favorite places to go, and yes, I have a gold card with my name engraved on it. For all the money I have spent there and time I have spent doing computer work, networking or reading or just relaxing, I feel like I should own Starbucks stock!

Back to the topic of living and life…

Life doesn’t give you a chance to “rewind the tape” and edit and say “no, that’s not what I wanted to do” or “I should have done that.”

The grand old tape keeps recording our actions every day in the anals of time with God looking down and helping those who are the most kind whose hearts are the most pure.

Every day ask yourself, what is the title of my movie, if you were to name your life.

Think about it carefully.


Now figure out what you need to do NOW (remembering the show ain’t over!), so the show can end up with the ending you desire.



God bless all who read this and may you find profitable work that more than meets your needs, that you love.

Kiss and hug those you love who are dearest and nearest to you too.

Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
July 19th, 2014
Copyright 2014
Abundant Life Image and Start Your Day with a Cup of Gratitude images found on Pinterest

Images and Polly’s Cappuccino Cup created by Paulette L Motzko on her Galaxy S Relay smart phone.

I wish more teachers would read this…


Albert Einstein knew what he was talking about. We all have our unique talents and abilities. My talents are not yours and your neighbor who lives next door to you has a whole different set of abilities.

The trick is bringing out someone’s inherent abilities and helping them fulfill their greatest human potenial.

Written by Paulette L Motzko
July 2014

’60s family photos

’60s family photos

I was alive in the 60’s….born in 1961 and mini skirts were worn by me for one day, with shorts underneath, due to the wind blowing the skirt upward. But little me, I tried it long enough to know I never wanted to wear one again!

What fashion item did you wear in the 60’s that you loved?

What piece of clothing did you wear in the 60’s that bring chuckles to your face when you remember wearing it?

Share and remember….

Paulette Le Pore Motzko

Your 1960s rides

Your 1960s rides

My personal favorite for a car is still a Mustang. I love how sporty it is and for its time in the 60’s, nobody had seen anything like it. Probably why a Mustang is still hot stuff.
What was your favorite car in the 60’s, if you drove or not?

I was a kid in the 60’s and my dad loved going to used car lots and test driving cars. We were instructed to not say dad wasn’t going to buy it, but we did ride in some cool cars and dad changed  the model of car we owned like wearing a new suit.

I know this is a different type of post than I usually write or print, but unexpected is a good thing. It adds excitement and interest and reader participation.

Paulette Le Pore Motzko
July 18th, 2014

1,179 Followers, 2,312 Posts, 244 Categories, 1,931 Tags, 359 Shares


As I have been playing around on WordPress burning the midnight oil redesigning RestaurantShowCase.wordpress.com and finally liking the way it looks, adding in new Feature Stories and new content on the other blogs I created and maintain…I found the 1000 and above trophy.
Totally Inspired Mind has 1,179 followers at 5:05 a.m. and sheez, do I have to get some shut eye!
Between the thunderstorm and lightning we had an hour ago to the rain pounding down..I can hear a few little birds chirping outside, so maybe it is the time to get a few hours sleep!

Whatever time it is where you are reading this-
I hope the next 24 hours you feel good, have good health, make enough money so you can pay all your bills and have some left to do something fun like go to a movie or buy yourself something you have been wanting-even if it is something simple, like a pair of shoes or something frivolous, that only you would know.
“All work and no play make for a dull day”, I always say.

I hope you have enough so you’re not left wanting; I know the feeling which is why I say that.
It isn’t fun when you cannot even buy something at the 99 Cent Store-and I have been there before.
So, I hope you have enough, I hope you find reasons to smile, and if you haven’t go find some.

Ideas to help put a smile on your face?
Go to your local library and check some of the bestsellers out.
There are always new ones printed every day and the best part it is FREE!

Look at the periodicals and magazines in your favorite interest and get some ideas on maybe a new trip you can take.

Signing off until next time.

Paulette Le Pore Motzko
July 15th, 2014
5:11 a.m.

8 Hugs a Day per person can go a long way to increase a community life expectancy. And the reasons are…

If you are single and are not in a relationship with anyone, consider being the giver of hugs in a senior home or go to a children’s cancer ward where hugs are not something they see every day.

At your local church are all sorts of opportunities to love and be loved in return.

I am French & Italian and I grew up a very “touchy feely” kind of person anyhow. I am not saying go up and hug everybody, but a hugging the people you say you love has health benefits that are far reaching.

Thanks to the Adonis Diaries for such a great post. I found it by searching one of the over 250 subjects I routinely search for this site, under the keyword “psychonueroimmunology”. This is a topic I discovered about 10 years ago. It is the study of the psychiatric system, neurological system and immunological system, and how they are all inter connected together.

Paulette L Motzko

Paulette Le Pore Motzko

A Virtual Hug and Thanks to My 1,178 Followers on Totally Inspired Mind

I also want to give my gratitude to these countries who today have tuned in to read what I have written, see the stories that I have selected and enjoy the photos I post.

United States-my homeland
United Kingdom
South Africa
Australia-I wonder if one of those is Susan Lattwain?
Sweden-I wonder if one of those viewers is my friend Vinika?

The site is getting double the views tonight and I feel double as happy.
There are 39,358 views for all time on Totally Inspired Mind

Thank you again!

Paulette Le Pore Motzko

Reasons to be cheerful…

I normally do not reblog any material with explatives like fuc- in it, but in this case Tim Love’s story about a restaurant they visited runned by a wonderful man with Down’s syndrome who gives hugs and food, was too inspiring.

Paulette L Motzko

Rising Like The Phoenix From The Ashes by Paulette Le Pore Motzko

Rising like The Phoenix
Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
July 12th & 13th, 2014

I knew it would be difficult when I moved from CA to Las Vegas, NV and that money would be tight until I got a cash flow system going here. I knew it would be hot here but living 118 degree heat and 104 and now our “balmy 85 and 90 degree weather”….but living it is another thing.

I remember the day when I met Raquel O’Neil, the Director of The University of Las Vegas, NV; it was 118 degrees outside and I was sopping wet by the time I walked from my place by the university there. I knew a para-transit system was in order so I could go door to door instead of walking to take the bus. When it hits September I hear from locals it is a lot better. Now the less you wear in Vegas the better and I walk around with a cool drink on ice all day long to make sure I stay hydrated and cool.

That day I knew, as much as I loved walking in CA for health and because I enjoyed it-I had to get a scooter with a 20 mile radius that can go 20 miles an hour. That way, it will propel me in and out of the heat as fast as possible. Having epilepsy, I have always had sensitivity towards heat, but hey beggars can’t be choosers here and I cannot afford southern CA or even Albuquerque, NM on my own and I want MY OWN. Funny, when I was married and had my huge 6 bedroom place with 2, 456 square feet of room and more bedrooms than we knew what to do with, I just want enough. Not too much, enough to fit the precious things I own and enough quiet to do my work and what I enjoy, a safe neighborhood, a roommate to help me split the rent-which I have now…and JUST LIVE IN PEACE IN MY OWN SACRED SPACE.

My neighborhood in Las Vegas, NV…for now anyhow. The asphault gets so hot, you could cook an egg on it. You can see steam rising from it. I avoid walking on it & stay in the shade as much as I can. The hottest day here was 118. I felt like a human cookie baking in an oven called Las Vegas.

Our definitions of what we want change as we change as human beings and our value system changes; my needs changed and became simpler.
Simplicity is a good thing and by having to live for the last year and a half using “other people’s stuff”, sleeping in other people’s beds-which is what you do when you rent a place-if it is furnished.

I have my Sealy Posturpedic Firm Full Size bed with lifetime frame in storage in CA, along with my gourmet kitchen accessories, roll top desk, three really comfy swiveling and reclining chairs and my rosewood grand piano-that I would have been using to teach piano, but hope my friend Greg and I find a place soon so I can orchestrate the piano mover in CA and the movers to load the moving truck, and then offloading here in NV. These things are in progress. You all reading this can hope and pray that I find an awesome place in a great neighborhood.

After passing out on the street two days ago at a bus stop having a complex partial seizure, with nobody to call and nobody in town with a car; I prayed to God with every Guardian Angel that exists that I would make it home safely and up the stairway from hell. (I am afraid of heights and with see through steps and one rail instead of two-I have to use meditation and I developed an iron-clad courage each day morning and night-but I did it.)

I will call the RTC Para-transit tomorrow and see where my visitor’s pass is and make sure it is on its way. I have a meeting on August 5th to be reviewed for it. I had OCTA ACCESS for over 15 years in Orange County. All my information was faxed over to the Bonneville Transit Center so they could expedite things. (I wouldn’t have thought of that, but my friend Raquel put a conference call in for me when I saw her in her office at the University of Las Vegas.)

Because I had to pay two months’ rent out of my SSI check-due to moving to Las Vegas on minimal money-not my choice, but it goes when you live out of hotels, and not even fancy ones at that. The multitude of photos on my Smart Phone play out a story, not one I ever wanted to tell, of a million places I stayed in that were not the answer but they all kept me off the street. I clawed and clutched and scraped and fought for my life with fumes for money. My two brothers knew what I was going through and they didn’t care. Hell, they went along with my older sister who helped evict me with her Hitler-Like husband Mike Bunker who exploited both my parents and abused the power of attorney privileges he was given by my now deceased father. Bunker “evicted” me over a year ago now, and I don’t think it was even legal, considering I lived and paid into the property for nearly 15 years. Attorneys I never had the money to hire, but I did have the intelligence to pick their brains, told me, it didn’t matter if dad had a will or not, I am entitled to 1/5th of his estate-whatever it was. Nothing like throwing your own sister out on the street and deriving joy from it! I try to achieve a Triple Win in life-I Win, You Win Society Wins. With dad in heaven, I guess my siblings thought they could have a field day with me. The property Mom and I lived in 13 years was sold for nearly a half a million dollars, and mom was taken to a senior home I have still not seen because Bunker hasn’t disclosed the address and has banned all communication between mom and I for a year and a half. Is this wrong? Of course. Should Adult Protective Services care? They should, but they haven’t. We have lousy laws concerning power of attorney in this country because someone could just about kill the person they’re supposedly looking after, once the power has been granted, and it is like they have immunity. It is wrong and I am not done. I lost over a year with my mom that I will never get back and I pray every night she will remember me when I see her. I almost want to draft Oprah Winfrey in on this deal, now that I had the guts to formulate the words to write this.

Dad passed away and guess how much I got? Aside from mourning his loss for weeks and wanting to go to a funeral Bunker never gave and consoling mom-and having to tell her 3 times dad had died until she understood he wasn’t coming home from the hospital this time-which was hell-I got nothing. No promised insurance policy, dust. No closure-no grieving with mom. Nothing? Yes. The probate attorneys all wanted $3,000 up front, even though I told them to take it out of what I was owed. Lawyers overall are scumbags. Slimy, lying people who would do anything to get their cut of the deal and get their dollar of someone else’s misery. I knew three of them, and all of them lied to me-so hence-show me an honest one and then I will change my mind.

This story will not be told in a year but for now it is and I have a right to tell it because miraculously I am alive to tell it! Weaker people wouldn’t have faired as well as I.
I consider the percentages though. You have 4 people who value the dollar more than a human being, more than integrity, compassion, honesty, credibility and who have selective amnesia and forgot all the huge parties I catered at my 3 houses-I probably placed mom’s needs ahead of my own. Mom is alive, and if I hadn’t stayed my dad wouldn’t have killed her because he mowed her down with his wheelchair once and didn’t have all his marbles. He should have been in a 24 hour facility many years before because it was too hard on mom who was trying to do I all.
I feel like I have walked through a ring of fire and came out the other end stronger, quicker to think; I had to. I had no other choice but to be stronger, feistier, but I created extraordinary things in spite of it all. As I sit in my room with the air conditioner going and the fan circulating air all around me; I strive to find peace of mind. That is what I want most of all.

Today after heading to The University of Las Vegas with the intent to make an apt with Raquel O’Neil, my disability advocate and friend-so she can help me get Medicare part B. She can show me what to do and then when I get it-which I was told years ago I was eligible in Las Vegas. In CA there are too many needing help, walking around aimlessly, not knowing where to turn for the help. I was one of them after my divorce. Then I began seeing how the system worked and realized that because I didn’t have children, by the government’s eyes, and where help was concerned, I was invisible. It is wrong and against my civil rights, but no services for a disabled lady, who ran out of money. A friend of mine, who had a 12 year old son, got 5 days in a hotel in 5 minutes. I got a swift kick in the ass in the Social Service Agency in Cypress and was told verbatim by the director: “Yes we can’t give you anything, even knowing that you have nowhere to go and have no more funds left because you don’t have a child. If you had a child, then you would get 5 days in a hotel.” Who makes these crazy rules anyhow?

The United States of America prides itself in treating all people equally with dignity and respect; that is not what goes on though. If I had thought the only differential between me and the people getting the financial help and not getting it was me not having a child, I wouldn’t have believed it.

People get jobs in Las Vegas, and they go to all people of all races, which is refreshing giving the white lady and man and black man and black lady a chance, and the lady and man with no children who are treated like trash, almost nonexistent-in every facet of the welfare system. It is no wonder that there are trillions of people getting their $800 per kid, not to have a child-but to get the money. Sends a really bad message to people that I don’t like-as someone who taught kids for over 20 years-and care about them. Ya’ don’t have to give birth to something to care about it. Just take Green Peace for example, I didn’t have to give birth to the dolphins and whales in the ocean to care about their welfare now, did it? Most all the jobs require you to speak Vietnamese or Spanish in Orange County. It is a wonder they don’t expect me to eat burritos every night or Pho! Hey I know that is a controversial statement, especially to all the Vietnamese who cannot even say hello to you and don’t care to learn and all the Mexicans who are above 18 who don’t try to pick up a simple English phrase book so they can at least say the words “please”, “thank you” and “where is the social service office.” Hey, I am a disabled American citizen and I needed Medical to pay for my anticonvulsant medications and see a neurologist. I tried for over 5 years and an indigent Mexican family, not even American citizens received every benefit made in 20 minutes!! The government has got things backwards here. Anyway, I will stop there and rant on my political minded site called The Political Think Tank

When two college degrees, Honor Roll, 4.0 GPA, not drinking, not smoking, no criminal record buys you nothing-the rules set for jobs need to be changed. It wouldn’t look so dismal for everybody in Orange County if the people who hire an American who speaks English. It is an English speaking country for God’s Sake-and by requiring foreigners to learn English instead of the other way around-maybe you will turn around the high percentage of out of work people there.

To understand where I come from, I lived in Little Saigon-a sect of Garden Grove where I am the minority, Mexicans are the minority; everybody is the minority ex except Vietnamese. I heard the unthinkable from dozens of them years ago and was horrified: “We don’t want a white teacher!” I didn’t want a bigot for a neighbor, but hell, I was outnumbered. I was Snow White in Vietnam and the Vietnamese Tour Buses would turn their heads and take photos of me, wondering where I came from! That is how what I did evolved. Being outnumbered, being a displaced worker. If I had moved from that area and a normal neighborhood would have seen the grand piano-I could have flourished. I should have. That is what I say now in 2014.

So, that is the scene I left in Oceanside, CA when I was staying with a friend’s sister. I had enough of it all and the not affording and should have pressed the escape hatch out of OC years before. I should have beaten my siblings from treating me like trash. All for what?

My dad was a good cook and talked about the insurance policy he had for me-if that is all he had for me-then I want it, because out of the rubble, that is all that exists. My mother in a senior home in Moreno Valley, CA waited on by a staff of people where there was me-financially and physically. Every cent of her social security was spent on my dad and if I hadn’t helped her nobody would have.

When people say things like-“I learned I can depend on family.” That is the opposite of my story. I have extraordinary friends that are a trillion times better than any family member. Sometimes things don’t work out the way you want and yet you find the strength to go on anyway. You don’t let it crumble you or defeat you because the value of your worth is far greater than the sum of the hatred of the people casting darts your way. Remember that. My siblings are the minority and the world is the majority. Every day people write me the most touching, wonderful things telling me I am inspiring, or how much courage I possess, or what extraordinary things I have done, or what a humanitarian I am. Those things matter. I listen to those things. The other is like so much gibberish. They would only dream to be that good, that kind, and have that much integrity.

Ron B., Michael D., Myles S., Tom M., Ruby P., Gina G., Susan L., Jovy S., Maria B., Marlin H., Camille B, Eddie J, and Carl F., and many others compose my family.

My friend list was much longer two years ago, but you find out who your friends are. When you have the big fancy house and have no problems everybody is your friend. When I really went through some hell I had friends who couldn’t even ask how I was. I am not friends with those people any longer. Out of sight and out of mind is not the way I want to be.

Sometimes I wonder if I have PTSD from all the traumas I have been through but I think adding more good things in it will outweigh the bad. I may not have fought any physical wars throwing bombs at people, but I have been ducking and covering and in a mode of survival for a year and a half and over the last two months have had a chance to RELAX, REGROUP, RECALL, and put some closure on a lot of things, and fight like hell for the rest.

I know I will never marry or I will lose my SSI and God knows that took years to win and reassess twice! As a disabled lady the SSI is my safety net that always makes sure I can survive. It isn’t a ton, but I am used to living on little and a simple life. Makes you appreciate what you have more. I would have divorced my ex-husband years before, if I had thought I had a way to support myself adequately. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone, but for now it is SSI. I would love nothing more than to make $50,000 a year or $75,000 a year someday on my own merit and abilities. How is that done? By finding a company that believes in me and my abilities and is willing to work with me and allow me to do work at home on my own schedule. That is how it is done. I just have to find that company. I found 10 writing and editing job leads today that look promising, I only have to explore them.

I remember when I was typing 40 w.p.m with a cast on my left arm due to breaking my wrist after a tragic fall in Stanton from a breakthrough seizure.

Hear me God in these words? I have suffered enough and it is my time to know only love, joy, happiness, levity rise like the Phoenix from the Ashes. Like the Kelly Clarkson son I love so much, “What Doesn’t Kill Ya Makes Ya Stronger”, that is me to the tee. I guess I am bionic now.


Image of Pheonix Rising found on Pinterest

One thing I am certain of is I will get every cent I am owed and I was taken advantage of as a disabled citizen of the USA. I would buy a house with cash and have only utility bills if I got what I was owed. Hopefully Legal Aid will help here with that for the principle of it all.

I want to every day build new, positive, like-minded friends who “think outside of the box”, and are visionaries like me-who care about the world, people in general, animals, children, like mentoring others, and putting good out in the world and who genuinely try and make the world a better place.

The list of friends I mentioned does not include Facebook, Twitter, and WordPress and the over 1000 people I know on the three sites. There are some I know better and just may meet in person in the near future. I never rule that out!

I don’t collect friends and I won’t use backend tricks or SEO forcing to get visitors to my site. Good content is good content and that is that. I want people coming because of something I wrote or said or thought and it helped them, they saw in a new way, and thought what I wrote was good period.

With 1,176 followers now and 39,035 views for all time with upwards of 50 countries tuning in monthly it ain’t doing to badly!

Imagine when money is flowing out of my wallet like an everlasting green supply that allows me to do more than I am currently doing. Maybe it wouldn’t flow like milk and honey but I want enough that I can buy all the domains for all my sites and hire a really good web developer to monetize my web sites-that would be Marlon Hefette. I would also like to hire a professional graphic designer to create a logo for my company Totally Inspired PC. Well, that would be Ruby P.

Imagine when MR. Sexy Nice Guy waltzes into my life at an Italian deli or in a restaurant I am writing a Feature Story on or shooting photos for….how nice it will be to be loved in that way again. It has been a very long time. I have a deficit of love that needs to be filled and it will be. He did walk in today and his name is Leonardo and he is a driver of a luxury tour bus in Las Vegas. I met him now yesterday when I walked up to the tour bus and asked the driver-Leonardo-if they had a direct “faster-than-greased-lightning” line that goes directly from Las Vegas, NV to some city in Orange County, CA. He said there was but it costs more. That is OK. Anything but the ridiculous, 13 hour trip from hell, see everywhere you don’t want to see Greyhound bus. I looked for more direct lines too. Good to know if I would ever want to go to CA in a few hours, rather than by plane. Better yet, a Mustang convertible Turbo with a V8 engine and huge CD player with big speakers…and a wonderful guy to drive it to CA. Then it is friends, fun beaches and storage vaults to get the rest of my clothes and shoes, at a minimum, and some books and marketing materials for work.

Leonardo is handsome and unmarried and the same age as I am. After we talked and laughed and he made the same jokes and I did and I laughed at his-he offered to take me anywhere I wanted to go. Now these buses were nice-with drink holders, WIFI and they were clean-and the driver was really good looking. I went to Starbucks to finish writing the two posts I spent five hours on the night before. It was the coolest entrance to Starbucks I ever did! Even a great friend who is local would be wonderful.

I feel like every day there is one more piece in my puzzle of life.
I guess in life you have to know what you want so you will know when you find it!

The Meeting of Two Artistic Souls: Ruby and Paulette Motzko

The Meeting of Two Artistic Souls: Paulette and Ruby

Photos of us together at The Bahama Breeze will be added of us that were taken as soon as I get them from Ruby P.

Written by Paulette Le Pore Motzko
7 Rules of Life image found on Facebook from Image From The Heart
Ray of Light Photo found on Flickr

Copyright July 2014

July 11-12, 13th, 2014

Ever meet someone who comes into your life like a ray of sun after 20 days of darkness? Ever look into someone’s eyes and you immediately connect? I did earlier today with Ruby P. I met her at the University of Las Vegas NV yesterday afternoon when I was once again hoping and praying I would find my way to the Disabled Students Center, and felt as lost as I had felt each time I was there. I hate being confused and lost.


I never had trouble like that at Golden West College in Huntington Beach and got a grip quickly after looking around. I never had that trouble when I was in the Master’s Certification program at Chapman University in Orange, CA where I graduated top of my class in the Voluntary Leadership Program and held the Summit Meeting, which was an honor and also a major accomplishment I will relish the rest of my life. I think the trouble is with the University of Las Vegas is too me it has too many of the buildings look alike with nothing to differentiate them. People paid $250 each to hear me speak about what epilepsy was and wasn’t and I filled up a classroom at Chapman U of about 50 people. It was a wonderful experience and it wasn’t even difficult to do. It was as though I had lived my whole life preparing me to do that; it was extraordinary. I didn’t tell them I had it until the end of the hour long presentation with an overhead projector and Power Point handouts. To see the shock on their face and the tears in their eyes when they looked at me and smiled and said “I never ever would have guessed you had epilepsy; I thought a friend of yours did, like you said. You didn’t let your disability get you down.” Those words were better than the applause and it was what I worked for since being a kid at nine years old made fun of and called names by a bunch of brats called kids who made fun of anything and anyone who was different than them. A few stood out like Sandra Newman and Cheryl Lightcap-who was blind and who didn’t judge and helped and knew ME-the person.

Anyhow, back to my meeting of Ruby who saw me at ULVN lost and said, “Hello Sweetheart, can I help you? Are you lost?” At that point, I was disheveled and worn out, hot and sweaty, (all of which I cannot stand.) Prior to meeting Ruby I was going through an ordeal getting my Tegretol prescription at Walgreens this week; I passed out two days before from the heat and carrying too much on the bus-with all my “people” I know gone on a trip to Los Angeles. Ironic that they went where I have wanted to go to go to my storage vaults there. Due to lack of communication and never being able to talk to the lady who owns the place I rent-no way. So close and so far away.
Even though I wore my sunscreen and more in the makeup I wore that day, my cheeks were flushed looking and I felt worn out. I will get the scooter or my Chariot of Fire, as I called it back in 1998 when I was having intractable auras every day to the point where, even with 3 medications, they were not working. Now, provided I am in the heat for short periods, which isn’t possible YET, and I keep myself hydrated, I am fine. I have a stable place I can call “home” now. It isn’t mine and what I used isn’t mine, but it is something and stable. I am moving up on the rung of life and though it rakes on my nerves because I have been waiting for so long…but I am used to having my own. My things may not impress others, but they are mine and after all I have lost, they are all I have left…along with my great friends who asked every day-how are you? Where are you? What is going on? I was entitled to a housing voucher since the amount I get in SSI is very low. Perhaps some string pulling can be done and this post I will have the mayor of Nevada read and see what results from it. The open mouth gets fed in this world, and I don’t mean eating!


Prior to meeting Ruby in the hot and steamy parking lot-I had said an emphatic prayer asking God to see to it I would never be alone and my life would be easier. Within 10 minutes Ruby appeared as though a messenger from God. It was longer than this but what I basically said was: “C’mon God, I am a nice lady and I am trying to work hard and seeing nothing for it. Make things easier on me…please, for God’s Sake and don’t allow me to walk alone any more. I am sick of it. End my struggles.”


Image found on Pinterest, SimpleeSerene.com


Ruby was there and heard of some of my trials and tribulations and, even though I didn’t ask for a darn thing, she went to her purse and looked to see what she had and simply kindly gave it to me. When I saw her pull out a $5, and then another $5, and then another $5 and lastly another $5-I just look astonished and shocked at the same time and felt bad she was handing it to me, but I needed it and with the kind smile on her face, with her son Josh standing there smiling-I took it and said a whopping “thank you” and we hugged.

You see, what nothing is for one is everything for another. I remember when I was married to the rocket scientist and money was not even thought of, was always there-I gave $20 bills to homeless people that were living in the streets-and I saw them there. I was never in the street-but I have seen some bad places and dangerous places, just because they were cheap.

(I felt like I won the slots in Vegas. (I have been here 2 months and haven’t put one quarter in a slot machine-why? I can’t afford it. After paying two months’ rent in one month and buying a few household things, a very few personal care products-the money was gone after paying my phone bill. But then again, when you get under a thousand bucks a month-it vaporizes.)

She invited me to go to Bahama Breeze restaurant and, once again, asked me again and I my heart was melted by her kindness and generosity combined. It had been ages since I rode in an SUV or any car for that matter, since I am always schlepping around on a bus on my own. She ordered coconut shrimp, onion rings the size of donuts with coconut breading-which were amazing, empanadas with a curry beef and vegetable filling and lobster quesadillas. I am not sure if I died and went to heaven between the company, the beautiful tropical surroundings and then the food.

Turns out Ruby is a visionary woman like me who can see photos in her head of what she wants to paint and does graphic design reminiscent of her favorite artist Picasso. Her digital paintings she showed me on her IPad were simple but elegant but had intricate stories about her life imbedded in each one. With each word she told me about why she painted the photo, I saw how deep feeling she was.

I knew also that she and I would collaborate on creative endeavors be it written, painted, digital imaging, web sites, books, videos-or a combination of many of these mediums. She was born with special gifts and I was born with special gifts-so unique and so different from one another, but each can understand the other and appreciate what the other does in a way that two usually cannot.

Financial hardship is temporary and it is because I don’t have all of the things I earn a living with at my fingertips like my desk, books and piano-to teach on. I am finding new business leads in marketing, writing projects and photography projects that are highly rewarding, more rewarding than teaching ever was. I paid the house payment when the ex lost his job with Boeing years ago in our 6 bedroom cape cod style house. I had 20 piano students in Sandy, UT and taught every Mormon kid up and down the block. It was a wonderful place to live and have only great things to say about the Mormon church and their philosophies. I didn’t agree about everything they did, but you don’t have to. You only have to show respect for the other’s beliefs, and I did, so I got respect in return. Pretty simple stuff really.

I wrote a piece before this comparing me as the Phoenix Rising from the Ashes-which was my past life in southern CA.

In it I mentioned about my longing to find a good man, a gentleman, an intelligent, intellectual, generous-man-other than my dear friend Ron B-who doesn’t want a relationship or to marry.

The man I am thinking of moving in with who is a gentleman and kind and good is Greg M. We have been friends-which he was smart enough to see I really needed one. The trouble is he has no phone and there are decisions to be made and I need someone who can be reached.

I am not sure yet who my room mate will be but it will be someone financially & mentally stable…pretty funny requirements, but in southern CA, I never met anyone that met those simple requirements who was a good person that I would want to wake up every day and look at! Or, they were on drugs. Tons of drugees in CA all going to surf on the beach covered with tatoos and piercings in strange places.
In Las Vegas, NV people make eye contact, which is refeshing, go out on a limb to help you, and are not wired up to their bluetooths as often or texting all the time.

A man named Fred called me tonight- who is an electric engineer met at a restaurant and who took a liking to me-and was visiting Las Vegas when he was but had a house in Los Angeles. He wanted to go out with me and is single. I have always liked engineers and they have always liked me because I am creative. Time will tell.

One thing is for sure, God does listen when you pray a desperate prayer calling out into the oblivion.

You have to be very specific though. The more specific you are the better your results will be.
I know I will never be alone again. By moving to Nevada, I have met wonderful, kind, thoughtful caring people who have shown me more genuine kindness and who have not lost humanity, as I saw from my own family.


Sometimes your family is nobody you are related to-that was my case it turned out. I am not the only one in the world that can say that, which gives me some consolation. Sometimes people choose things instead of people, greed instead of generosity, and apathy instead of love.
I began with my mother, who read to me before I was ever born, then taught me phonics, the piano, the guitar, kindness, compassion and a giving spirit. For her I began and with her I end it seems, with friends that are stellar who would do anything for me, and I them.


I created this photo quote from words my mother Ramona Lea Le Pore said to me…


I have a nice place to live and it will continue to get better and better. Through the literal hell I went through last year I was shown genuine love and kindness and to the point of doing without from one of my friends let me sleep in his own bed and he slept on the couch! I swear to God-and for that I will never ever forget-and will help him in every way I can. Another friend helped me get my medicine and is sending it to me. He cares more for me in his little finger than the “family” I am related to. If you lumped all my siblings and my brother-in-law/power of attorney together, they lack the compassion, integrity, intelligence to create even one normal person! Everything has a cause and effect in this world. They responded in the worst possible way to what should have been loving kindness and sensitivity to their sister-and they failed miserably where my mother Ramona’s needs were concerned-monetarily and physically. I am broke largely because I bought my mother what she needed as well as myself since only I was making sure she had what she needed. I also enjoyed spending time with her, because with advanced Alzheimer’s disease, I knew my time would be limited with her. So, whatever she wanted she got-while I was with her. All the focus was on dad.

I apologize if some of my regular fans and readers have heard this before, or something similar to it. In writing this, I wanted to just “get it all out there and then move on”. It is needed so I can re-build myself and move forward in a healthy way.

I had no medical care as long as I got alimony and my medical care costs a lot of money. I was selling things to afford my pills, and I am not kidding! I couldn’t collect alimony and SSI; it was either one or the other. I don’t know who makes the rules in CA, but they need revamping! Now in a week or so, with the help of my friend Ruby, she is driving me to the Medicaid office and it should a pretty easy thing, according to what I have been told in very high places, and from people who have done it.

My goals this week are to switch the Medical to Medicaid. That is my goal this week and to call some places where I can get a scooter for around town….

The above sentence was typed last night around midnight. Today Ruby calls me and tells me I can borrow a scooter she has that she isn’t using that would help me more than her. Yes, it is an answered prayer. Trick is, one more hinge-where I live is upstairs and there is no storage! (God likes playing games like this with me, making things hard and giving me something then making it impossible or near impossible to accept the gift!) I am a more industrious thinker than that though. I have two friends who live walking distance from me: One is Dr. Tariku Mekonnen-who happens to be sitting across from me at Starbucks-as though God put him there. We know the answer to the root of the problem is simply move to a ground level room, which I will begin looking. Then I can have a garage or storage for it. Where can I live for $350 a month here in Las Vegas, NV-or is there an even better plan awaiting me? I think so; I know so. IT was great while it lasted and was a good launching platform to catapult me to better and bigger and more harmonious places, where it is quieter and where I see the people I live with and I choose who I live with. There is a huge difference in that statement.
If I lived on ground level I could take my hand cart and put my computer and camera and other things in it-which is like the trunk of my invisible Mustang Turbo! Hey, when you don’t drive you have to invest in the best shoes made because my feet are my tires, and they have to carry me a long way.

I don’t drive due to a very near fatal accident over 15 years ago, and I am happy to be here. I can pay for a nice rental car and someone to drive it, and I will happily be the passenger and hand-select the right music to listen to….and put a smile on the driver’s face. That is where I was supposed to be. It is safer there than behind the wheel. The ex-used to always tell me “go for your independence” all the time, and like a nut I did. Then the worst nightmare happened; I had a seizure behind the wheel and the car ended up gnarled up in the chain link fence of a school yard! The worst part was I was unconscious and didn’t see the accident happen! I was unconscious for a while-then a guy who saw it happen called the paramedics and all along Sheer Lane in Huntington Beach, CA-where our house was-at the time-were people praying and hoping I would emerge unscathed. I didn’t have one scratch and no kids were killed-THANK GOD TEN TIMES OVER. That was enough for me. I am a quick learner and I must have said thank God a thousand times and said “I will never do this again!” I almost lost everything including my future by having a little so called “independence”. I heard my neighbors applaud and say “Thank God she’s alive!” The Ford Tempo I was in looked like a dinosaur from Jurassic Park picked it up and smashed it and threw it a mile. So, you could lay thousands of dollars on a platter and I wouldn’t drive if you paid me. I also wouldn’t do drugs that I don’t need, or drink because it would interfere with the medicine I take and send me to a hospital I don’t really want to go to. (I can think of much more fun things to do. Besides, I get drunk of Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider!)

I am a rich person because I have what I need and a lot of what I want now. Not all of what I want, but I will get it because I have been told by people that I have “drive” and “moxy” and courage and a “will of iron” and I am not afraid to work and to study to get something good in the end. I have also been told by a Maria Lourdes Lipardo, a friend who lives in the Philippines that I am transparent. Ruby told me today that “You are a truly sweet woman” and last night she said to me, which had me think and rethink myself because I never heard it: “Goodnight Sweet Child of God.” One thing’s for sure, I never talk bad about anybody’s back-unless it is truthful- who are in my life, because I am not friends with anyone like that!

This week I got everything I needed and a few unexpected extraordinary unique GIFTS that no money can buy like my new friend RUBY P.

Life is a process in many ways. All the good things do not happen at once. – Paulette L Motzko

Image taken in Laguna Woods, CA by Paulette Motzko

After being married to a rocket scientist for 15 years, which wasn’t all bad, even though in the end he did a lot of uncool things. I became a different person and learned a lot about the sub-specialties in engineering and what they did, and as a writer now, that information has helped me in writing jobs.

Life is a process and all the things we want do not emerge all at once. Once realizing this and looking at your life in that way, and looking at your life and the goals you have in it-long term and short term goals- will be attained, but in an order of precendence and importance.

Firstly, you need to do some real soul searching and passion seeking, where you come to grips with what you are passionate about and how you can make that passion your job.

In life many of us are not “where we want to be” for a host of reasons. Knowing you are one of the grand majority who is striving for better should make you feel better.

As long as you are constantly improving yourself, be it your education, your job, doing what you love and accomplishing projects that are rewarding, that is all you need to focus on.

Think about where you were and what you were doing 3 months ago. See what I mean?
What about 6 months ago?

Pat yoursself on the back and budget entertainment in your budget to make sure you get to see the movie you wanted at the theater and tried the cool restaurant you heard about. Those things are important for your sanity, balance, relaxation and adding levity and something for you to do with your friends and family.

Then, when you go back to work, you will be more productive and accomplish more.

Written by Paulette L Motzko
Copyright 2014